March 31, 2010
“You’re in heart failure. You are going to ICU immediately.” My cardiologist, sitting on the edge of my hospital bed at 2:00 am was the one with the news! These words are ones that you never want to hear – anytime – but especially not at age 44.
I knew he was right; I just did not want him to be right. I was too busy for heart failure. Things were beyond crazy at the time. My son had just moved back from California and brought his roommate with him. We were in the middle of a construction remodel job on a place for them. One daughter was in the middle of a hard semester in college, and the other was about to graduate high school in two months. Worst of all, we were in the middle of college spring break weeks at Panama City Beach, FL with the beach condos that we rented. It was the worst timing.
Even though the words, “heart failure” were ringing in my ears louder and louder, I knew this was a plausible answer to my health issue that had been a mystery for years. I didn’t really know that much about heart failure. I remembered that my grandmother died of heart failure, and that was about it. The actual words sounded fairly explanatory – heart – failing – no more me!
The mitrol valve in the heart has three cords that are attached to it giving it the appearance of a parachute. The valve opens and closes as the heart beats. One of my cords had completely detached, leaving the valve stuck in the ‘open’ position thereby allowing a back flow of blood continuously into my lungs. Surgery was inevitable if I ever wanted to leave the hospital (and not in a body bag). After a week and a half of multiple antibiotics for the pneumonia, respiratory treatments for the lungs, removing fluid from the lungs, oxygen, and a lot of tests, I was finally in better shape for THE day.
Surgery day was a considerably rough day for me, my family and all of my surgical team. What started out as a “repair” of the valve turned into two separate complete surgeries – a repair of the valve, and then a mechanical replacement of the valve, A-fib ablation, removal of some of the atrium, and installation of a pace maker. My family was called from the OR room and updated on my condition two different times. They were told that things were not looking good, and that the doctors were not able to get my heart started. My body temp had to be dropped two separate times, and I maxed out my time on the bi-pass machine that day.
A few days later, my surgeon told me that he thought he had lost me twice. God has the last say though, and it is He who holds each one of our “heartbeats” in His hands. My doctor also told me that he thought it would take about a year and a half to recover from the surgery. I thought to myself, “He doesn’t know me.” I gave myself a personal goal of two weeks. I know… it is both hilarious and pathetic! It took a couple of months for me to get strong enough to do menial tasks like pulling the cord on my bedroom drapes, or opening the freezer door or porch door. I had no strength for quite some time. Thanks to all of our family members, they pitched in and helped us through a really tough time.
My two-week recovery goal realistically turned into two years and a few months before I could return to my full schedule again.
Today is my 5th year anniversary to a second chance at life! There is no doubt that without this surgery I would not be alive today. I am thankful for so many things, and I’m grateful to be alive. In these five years our family has crossed many milestones which I am appreciative to have been here to see and be a part of, including the birth of our two new grand girls.
Life is precious. Enjoy it. Take care of it. Respect it. LIVE it!
What you can take away from my story:
1) Life is a precious gift. We only get one life to live on this earth. Make the one you have been given count for something – something really good! This is a goal that you can wake up and remind yourself of each and every morning as you realize you are alive for one more day.
2) Be a Thankful person. Be thankful for who you are. Be Thankful for what you have. Be thankful for what you can do. Be thankful for the people around you. Look around and make a list of all the things you are thankful for if you need to. Count your many blessings. As you begin to add them up, your “thankfulness meter” should begin to rise.
3) Live FOR today and IN today. Learn from your past, but leave it there – in the past. Today is the only day that you can make count and make a difference in. Today is the only day that you can change something, accomplish something, love someone, do a kind deed, etc. Tomorrow has not come yet so do not wait for it. You do not necessarily get a “warning sign” or a fatal diagnosis that gives you time to make things right or get some important things done. In one day, my dad got sick, the next day he was in ICU where he stayed until he went to heaven two weeks later. He had no plans for sickness right then and certainly none for death. You never know when your life on this earth will be over, so be ready spiritually, relationally, and financially for those you leave behind.
4) Be content in a whatever stage of life you are in. If you are sitting in a chair staring into space like I did for several weeks recovering or busy living life, be content.
5) Do not worry. Not only can worry physically make you sick, it shows a total lack of faith in God to help you with your problems. God holds every heartbeat of yours in His hands. He knew when your heart began to beat for the very first time and He knows when your last heartbeat will end. So why worry about the time in the middle? I made a decision when I was in the hospital bed after my surgery. Since my heart was not beating on its own, I had a temporary pacemaker for about 5 days, then a permanent one was put in. This can be a scary place if you allow it. My decision about my impending situation was that I refused to worry about my ‘heartbeat’ itself. I was alive at the moment and it was beating (somewhat) at the moment so why borrow from tomorrow’s troubles? I was very comfortable and content leaving my ‘heartbeat’ to God. After all, I had not given thought to my heartbeat for the last 44 years, and I certainly had not “helped” it beat any.
6) Take time to examine your life periodically. Make sure you still have “the main thing the main thing.” Go over your priorities and goals and make sure things are balanced in your life. Does your family ‘know’ on a daily basis that you love them? Is God in any part of your day? Is your daily work too high on the list of important priorities? Is your family meeting the goals that you have set together? There is nothing like a wake up call to force you to examine your life, but it’s better if you take the opportunity to do it BEFORE the wake up call.
Have you have had a “wake up call” or life changing event in your life? What did you learn from it?
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Sabrina,
Nicely put. Bravo! Look forward to a novel or two one day.
Ashley
Thanks, Ashley! Book 1 is on its way!!
I remember praying for you then. I truly believe God cares for us, hears our prayers and answers them. Thanks for sharing! Loss? Yes in more ways than one and God has not only brought me through, but taught me so much about him! God bless!
I meant enjoyed your story.
Sabrina thanks for sharing your story. My 87 year old mother went through mitral valve replacement surgery in January. The doctors used a pig valve. Hers was completely shut. Tough surgery for someone her age. Her cardiologist sent her to a specialist in Birmingham for the surgery. No one in Dothan gave her any hope except for her cardiologist. We praise God that she is doing well overall. Yes we have had a few scares. But God is good and His hands are on her!!!
Wow! 87 – that’s tough. But, like I said, God holds each of our heart beats and even if the doctors don’t give us any hope, our HOPE is still in God. Glad she is doing well.
Sabrina… you have a beautiful family!!
Your ‘story’ is very encouraging. God is good… all the time… all the time …. God is good!
Girl… He has a purpose and a plan!!
Good to hear from you! I have thought of your family so many times.
I work at Southeastern Pediatrics and saw where Casi had a precious little one.
Your children, like my own, have grown up. We are enjoying this season in our lives!
Sabrina:
I saw your post on Danny Mallory’s FB. Danny is an old friend and associate of mine, so I thought to check out your website.
Your testimony is quite touching and reflects strong faith and reliance upon God. I also experienced a similar episode a few years back with A-fib. I have a damaged heart valve from Rheumatic fever as a child. Though I have preached the importance of faith for many years, I really did not know how I might respond when death looked me in the eye. My greatest surprise was that I had no fear at all of dying, and that is the mercy and grace that God alone imparts to His children.
Thank you so much for posting that inspiring account of your own personal faith and how God attended your needs, even under such dire circumstances.
God bless you.
Thank You so much for those words. These situations can be compared to the parable…only when the master is away will he know what the servant will do. It is good to get it right, isn’t it? Thanks again for sharing!
Michael was and continues to be an inspiration to me. My late husband loved and admired Michael. It is always a delight to see how he works
around his obstacles to enjoy adventure!! To God be the Glory!
He does enjoy adventure, doesn’t he?!
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